2016 | A look back

2016 | A look back

Assalamualaikum.

Wow. 2016 is almost coming to an end. Looking back, 2016 is almost a better year than 2015. But around the end of 2016, things have come to worst and many that I cherished has ended. Lets see my list of meaningful events this year.

One.
Single mother of two.
I am single. Yup. I am single again. After 10 years of relationship, after 5 years or marriage. My marriage ended in August. A day before Malaysia’s independent day. To tell the truth, I triggered the event, and my ex husband ended it. I was relieved, I felt free. Well, at first. Then several days later, I was overwhelmed with regret. And then, I got okay back, but soon after I’m having a breakdown again.

It’s hard for me, for him and for our kids. After things were final, I died a little bit inside and was sad for weeks. I was crying non stop, each time my mind wanders. I despise the trip to and from work cos of the long journey. Long journey made me think about myself, my relationships, and I cried a lot during the 2 hour bus rides. My kids, they enjoy living with their grandparents, and I do too. When they asked for their father is what breaks me, all the time.

After 3 months, something happened and I was shown that I should have moved on, cos that is the right thing to do. I finally came to a realisation that I have been wasting my tears for a relationship that I will never get back. I am way calm today, and I don’t regret what I have done anymore. We are just not meant to be together anymore. We disagreed a lot and we don’t have anymore understandings left.

Two.
Arsyad first yearly class picture!
The good thing that came out of that is, Arsyad went to a kinder in my hometown and he can now read Iqra’ well. We moved twice this year, so his studies were stopped for almost a year. Back to my hometown, his grandparents insist that he tried at any kinder around my area, and he went and tried 2, but ended choosing the latter. He even got a yearly graduation picture.

Both my son now prays well under the supervision of my father. Alhamdulillah. May our kids be a good muslim.

Three.
Back in Bentong!
Us three now live with my parents. Out from the city, back to good ol kampung. The good, no more rents to pay, closer to my parents. The bad, it’s far and tiring to travel back on from and to my workplace. But I guess that is the price that I got to pay, right? Gain some, lose some.

To be continued next year. Hahaha.

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